Here are all the entries for the contest. Really Really funny and creative stuff guys! They are all good
Who knows, we may do some of them for the show in the future!
Lordbroanerion:Narrator: Twisted Troop presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. 1 hour per movement phase player
Singer: Mr. 1 hour per movement phase player
Narrator: You think about each move like a life or death situation and when you finally make your decision you second guess yourself and think some more.
Singer: I’ve opened up my flank!
Narrator: Your tape measure gets more action than a toilet seat as you completely move a unit including wheels and then quickly put it in reverse.
Singer: I think this is where they started!
Narrator: Your opponent speeds up his own movement phase in a hope to finish the game under 6 hours and makes hasty mistakes.
Singer: My mind games are working!
Narrator: So take it to turn 3 oh Turtle of the Tournament, points denial is your game and sportsmanship is your fame.
Singer: Mr. 1 hour per movement phase player
Narrator: (Twisted Troop, Austin, Minnesota)
Jormiboced:Narrator: Brohammer presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Cheesey List Building Warhammer Player
Singer: Two Hydras or Aboms aren't that bad
Narrator: You think that just because GW invented the Power Scroll you should use it in every list.
Singer: Why try a sub-optimal item
Narrator: When you go to your local club you think nobody wants to play you because your tactical genius will crush them.
Singer: They really just want a fun game
Narrator: Not content with building the most disgusting list on earth you also talk smack as you wipe your"friend's" fluff bunny list off the table .
Singer: Rub their face in your filth
Narrator: So take your bow Oh King of Cheese, your dedication to the making a game not fun is without equal.
Singer: Mr. Cheesey List Building Warhammer Player
Narrator: (Twisted Troop, Austin, MN)
Chris M.Narrator: Brohammer presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you mister Custom dice for every army guy
Singer: Mister Custom dice for every army guy
narrator: Only you know what the symbols on those dice could possibly mean
Singer: Was that total power?
Narrator: Content in the knowledge that every magic phase for you is a good one, you rule the tables with domination other players can only dream of.
Singer: He keeps rolling Sixes!
Narrator: You have assured that every leadership check you're forced to take passes with insane courage.
Singer: He JUST rolled the same thing.
Narrator: So take your bow Mister Custom dice for every army guy, you dedication to cheating is without equal... and also without an opponent.
Singer: Mister Custom dice for every army guy.
Narrator: Cheater Dice Gaming Club Homer Glen, IL
Walkstheweb:Narrator: Brohammer presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. No-Show Warhammer player!
Singer: Mr. No-Show Warhammer player!
Narrator: You, painstakingly arrange a match on a designated night at a designated time with a designated opponent. Guaranteeing you will be there for a great game.
Singer: I’ll defiantly be there!!
Narrator: But when it comes to game time the other side of the table is as empty as an Irish AA meeting and you’re nowhere to be found.
Singer: Has anyone seen Waldo!?
Narrator: Whether your grandmother ate your keys, your car had to go to the vet or your dog had a stroke, it doesn’t matter, you’ll come up with something.
Singer: The check is in the mail!
Narrator: So here’s to you oh Warlord of Wasted Time. Your dedication to that Golden Girls marathon assured someone else totally wasted their time.
Singer: Mr. No-Show Warhammer player!
Narrator: Hawaiigamers.net, Honolulu Hawaii
HeyChadwickNarrator: Brohammer presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. 8th Edition Wage Quitter
Singer: Mr. 8th Edition Wage Quitter
Narrator: After years of war games, your ability to accurately guess distances down to the half inch are no longer important.
Singer: What do you mean pre-measure !?!?
Narrator: No longer do your elite, fear-causing models smash into the enemy and kill the front rank, forcing an auto-break without your opponent even rolling any dice.
Singer: Stepping Up is the dumbest rule
Narrator: The Winds of Magic have stopped you from blasting the opponents army apart by Turn 3 with your insanely high magic heavy lists. You only get 2d6 Power Dice now.
Singer: I miss my 18 Power Dice a turn!
Narrator: Revel in your Fury, you Hierophant of Hissy Fits. We'll see you back at the tournament scene when the power creep offers another broken army book that you can exploit.
Singer: Mr. 8th Edition Wage Quitter
Narrator: (The Miniatures with Dust Foundation, Power Gamer City, America)
MattMc:Narrator: Brohammer presents... Real Men of Genius
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. War Gamming Rules Lawyer
Singer: Mr. War Gamming Rules Lawyer
Narrator: You would argue a rule with anytime, anywhere. 12 year old rookies, your best friend, the tournament organizer…you could prove anyone that you’re right.
Singer: I’m telling you it’s in the FAQ!
Narrator: Most players are happy just to get a night out of the house and roll a few dice, but you believe there is a rule somewhere, somehow that can win every situation or game for you, no matter the odds
Singer: Why do you think I have this rolling bookcase?!
Narrator: Not content with decimating your opponent to his last unit, you would argue to your dying breath, if you thought it would kill that last unit
Singer: It’s all in the wording!
Narrator: So here’s to you Oh Litigator of the Big Rulebook, your vast knowledge of every rulebook, army, update, FAQ and obscure interpretation is without peer...and also without a sports score.
Singer: Mr. War Gamming Rules Lawyer
Narrator: Brought to you by the Minions, Austin, TX
By Snotlingbedwetter:Narrator: Bro Hammer Presents ‘Warhammer’s Real Men of Genius’
Singer: Real Men of Genius
Narrator: Today we salute you ‘Mr Local Gaming Group Model Proxy Cheapskate’
Singer: Mr Local Gaming Group Model Proxy Cheapskate
Narrator: There is no model you wouldn’t freely substitute in to your army in a quest to own the most unbeatable latest internet hotness.
Singer: My mum’s private massager doubles as a Screaming Bell
Narrator: Whereas most gamers take their time in creating the most beautiful life like armies of pure eye candy your armies are more knocked up than Victoria Beckham
Singer: That A-Bomb is not WYSYWYG it’s Grandma's-Wig
Narrator: Your idea of a theme is an army that is completely unpainted, not owned by you, made of hotchpot models and has absolutely no movement trays what so ever.
Singer: I manouver my horde unit with my borrowed army book
Narrator: The only things worse than your pathetic excuse of an army is the appalling scenery you use in an attempt to gain every little advantage you can, to try and aid you in yet another empty soulless victory.
Singer: My mouldy and soiled underpants here make a perfect fungus forest.
Narrator: So stand and be recognised for your more ‘Frankenstein’ than ‘Lichtenstein’ contribution to the Warhammer Community.
Singer: Mr Local Gaming Group Model Proxy Cheapskate
DaBearNarrator: Point Hammered presents... Real Men of Intrigue
Singer: Real Men of Intrigue
Narrator: Today we salute you, Mr. Last Minute Hotel Room Miniature Painter
Singer: Mr. Last Minute Hotel Room Miniature Painter
Narrator: You registered for this tournament three months ago but didn’t start painting that new unit until three days prior... or that new character... or that new monster either...
Singer: I’ve got plenty of time!
Narrator: While other players are getting pick up games in the hall, having drinks with friends or are just getting a good night’s sleep, you’re hunched over the table painting in crappy light till 4:30 am
Singer: I’ve got player’s choice in the bag!
Narrator: Not content with the same old army list, you know that all the effort getting your new additions painted will pay off when you take home the award for best overall
Singer: These slayer pirates are gonna totally kick butt!
Narrator: So pop another no-doze Oh Prince of Procrastination, because anyone can have their army ready with weeks of preparation but it takes special talent to paint half of it the night before the tournament.
Singer: Mr. Last Minute Hotel Room Miniature Painter
Narrator: (Point Hammered Podcast, Stevens Point Wisconsin)
DaBear also wrote two others , but I am not posting them here because they are being aired on Pointhammered! You will have to check them out to hear those